


In Dreams

by Dalankar



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 08:49:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1773064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalankar/pseuds/Dalankar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Donghae has always believed in things that don't exist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Dreams

It's the feeling you get when you know you've forgotten something but you don't know what it is. Like a fish hook it snags at your mind, never letting you completely forget that something is missing.

Donghae runs a frustrated hand through his hair, messing it up even more than the wind. He's pretty sure he hasn't forgotten anything, that this is probably just his imagination, but the feeling is like an itch. It wouldn't go away.

"Hyung," Siwon calls, opening the car door for Donghae. "Let's go."

Donghae nods and steps out, hoping the three hours at the cinema would help him be rid of this feeling.

 

Donghae picks at his food absently. The movie hadn't helped.

"Siwon, did I forget your birthday?" He asks, looking up to see Siwon methodically annihilating his dinner.

"Hyung, my birthday was last month. You were at the party," Siwon tells him, tiny frown between his perfect brows. "Why?"

Donghae shakes his head. "I just feel like… I feel like I've forgotten something…."

Siwon's frown intensifies. "Forgotten what hyung?"

Donghae buries his face in his hands. "I don't know," he mutters into his palms.

"Hyung." Donghae feels Siwon's hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you're working too hard. You should take some rest."

Donghae peers at him through his fingers. "Do you think so?"

Siwon nods earnestly. "You'd know if you forgot someone's birthday, hyung."

"I guess so," Donghae sighs.

 

"Are you sick?" Heechul asks just as Donghae enters the living room. "If you're sick, do not come near me," he orders. Donghae freezes.

"I'm not sick, hyung," Donghae tells him and Heechul relaxes.

"Ah that Siwon. Always so dramatic," Heechul complains and Donghae dares venture further into the room. "So what's wrong with you?" Heechul asks looking at Donghae curiously.

Donghae sighs and sits down beside Heechul on the couch. "I don't know, hyung. I just-" He feels the tears threatening and rubs at his eyes. He feels Heechul wrap an arm around his shoulders and leans into him gratefully.

"Donghae, what's wrong?" Heechul's voice is soft, a tone of voice he only ever uses with Donghae.

Donghae shakes his head. "I feel like I've forgotten something. Something important but I don't know if I'm imagining it or if I've really forgotten something." He sniffs sadly. "I feel like I'm going crazy."

He feels Heechul sigh next to him. "I told them this wouldn't work." Donghae hears him mutter.

"What, hyung?" Donghae asks, leaning back.

"Listen, Donghae-"

"Hyung, don't," Sungmin says, rushing into the room.

Heechul straightens. "It's not working, Sungmin."

Donghae watches as Sungmin's eyes flicker between Heechul and Donghae. "It's for his own good, hyung."

"He's starting to remember, Sungmin," Heechul tells him impatiently. "However much we try, he is going to remember and we'll be in the same mess again."

"Hyung-"

"Listen, tell the others it was me, okay." Heechul turns to Donghae. "Donghae, how many members do we have?"

Donghae blinks. "Hyung, what-"

"Just tell me."

"Well… with Henry and Zhoumi, we're thirteen."

Heechul shares a glance with Sungmin, who looks crestfallen at Donghae's answer.

"Name them."

Donghae takes in Heechul's expression and decides not to argue. "Jungsu hyung, Heechul hyung, Youngwoon hyung, Jongwoon hyung, Donghee hyung, Sungmin hyung, me, Siwonie, Ryeowookie, Kyuhyunie, Zhoumi and Henry." Donghae frowns when he realises he's missing one. "Who…?"

Heechul takes Donghae by the shoulders. "Donghae, we're twelve."

Donghae blinks at him. "No, hyung, we're-"

"There is no thirteenth member." Heechul shakes him slightly. "I know you think there is, but I'm telling you, Sungmin is telling you," Sungmin stares at Heechul with wide eyes, "that we're twelve members."

"But-"

"Would I lie to you?" Heechul asks firmly.

Donghae looks at him and shakes his head. "I know you wouldn't, hyung." He collapses backwards onto the couch.

"I don't know why I thought that," he whispers and feels Heechul’s hand in his hair.

"Because you're Lee Donghae. Believing in things that don't exist is your specialty."

Donghae closes his eyes. "Don't exist."

 

"I thought you were going to tell him, hyung," Sungmin says once Donghae had gone to bed.

"Better to think he never existed at all," Heechul answers, carefully not looking up from his phone. "It'll hurt him less to think that Hyukjae never existed at all."

 

Donghae startles awake. He lies in bed, breathing harshly, almost shaking with fear. A nightmare. It was just a nightmare, right?

"Donghae?" A sleepy voice asks from beside him. Donghae clutches onto him immediately, wrapping both arms around the figure.

"I had a nightmare," he breathes shakily. "You weren't in it. You weren't there."

Warm arms wrap around him. "That's good then."

Donghae shakes his head, tears prickling at his eyes. "No." He props up on an elbow and looks down at the figure below him. "You didn't exist. I dreamt that you didn't exist."

"Hey, Donghae." Hyukjae reaches to touch his face. "It was a dream . Just a dream. I'm here. I've always been here."

Donghae stares at him, then leans down and kisses him just to make sure. Hyukjae folds him up in his arms afterwards. "I told you not to eat all that birthday cake before bed," he chides, "sugar always gives you bad dreams."

Donghae mutters against Hyukjae's shoulder and holds on tight.

 

***


End file.
